the truth behind "i love you."
I have recently been noticing a lot of "Happy 6 months!" or "Happy 4 days!" and "Happy 2 years" on Twitter. It really has gotten me thinking. What I am thinking about is how all of these couples, the 6 month, 4 day and 2 year relationships, are saying "I love you". They are all a very different ranges of time. But does that have any effect on what "I love you" truly means?
Personally I have always felt that the only time you should tell someone you love them is when you are completely comfortable with that person. And I mean completely comfortable. So comfortable that they you are willing to look your worst, so comfortable you are willing to tickle them, so comfortable that you can tell them everything ranging from your deepest secrets to the fact that you don't feel good and are going to spend the next hour in the bathroom. I think that that is what love is.
Love is nasty, embarrassing, honest, funny, wierd, awkward, crazy, relieving, patient, ridiculous, love is beautiful. Love is kind of like being on anethseia, you don't really know why you feel so comfortable and content, but you do. Love has this overwhelming prensence when that special someone is in the room with you. No matter how much you think the other person is annoying, you know that you would be crazy without that "annoyingness". That is what love is. So, because of that I was a late bloomer to the whole "love thing" in my relationship. We waited until 8 months to say those lovely 3 words and it seemed to work out fine for us. I mean, we haven't gone a day without saying it in 3 years, so I would say that is pretty successful.
Here is what some of my Twitter Followers had to say when I asked "How soon is it okay to say I love you?": "Whenever it feels right for you, there is no "perfect" time, and usually you'll just know anyway."- Ann "When you literally cant see yourself with out them and you can not only all them your lover but best friend."- Taylor "Whenever you feel it. whenever you know the person inside & out and still can fall head over heels for them. never a set time. "- Brit But what do you think? Maybe I am crazy to get annoyed when there are people saying "i luv u baby" after two days of dating. Maybe they were shot in the head by cupids love arrow and they can't contain themselves. What I'm thinking is that arrow they were shot by was more of the infatuation arrow than the love arrow. But that's just a guess.
So please, leave your opinions in the comments. I want to see what you lovely folks think. Have at it. Keep calm, and party on friends. If YOU want to be featured in some upcoming posts, follow me on the Twitter machine. We'll have fun. PS: Make sure to enter this super awesome giveaway going on. 
I think you're right, if you're completely comfortable with someone, comfortable enough to be honest in everyway then being honest about how much you care for someone is just another step in the relationship. Jeremy & I waited 7 months, and I am happy that we did because we really wanted to get to know eachother before declaring something so big.
ReplyDelete3 years later we are happy together, and just like you & your boyfriend, we say I love you every day.
I also agree with the other statement, when you cannot see your life without that person, thats when you know you love someone. I know that whenever I think of my future I think of Jer being in it.
xx
The Urban Umbrella
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When I was younger I was an "i love you slut" honestly but whne i got with my OH it was it different I had grown up and I wanted things to be different. I waited about 3 months even though he said it on our 2nd date. Over 4 years later we are still going strong x
ReplyDeleteI agree! I have a number of people on my facebook who change their girlfriend/boyfriend every week. I even have a few people who have been engaged multiple times and then move on very quickly to the next engagement. I'm not like that and it irks me when I see stuff like that! It all seems very childish to me!
ReplyDeleteThough me and my boyfriend said the l word way before we got together it was because we spent an unusually long time getting together (we worried about long distance and tried to pretend that we didn't want to be together because it was a hassle but in the end we realised we wanted to be together too much for the distance to bother us) We knew each other for over a year and a half before we said those words and when we said them they kind of just slipped out. Pretty soon afterwards we ended up an item. Now, like you said, I couldn't imagine my life without him xxx
I think it can vary for everybody, i tell my friends I love them all the time. I've never been in a serious relationship, or really a relationship, so I'm not sure what I'll do then. But I do think it's silly to say it after your second date, I think you like that person, and love them as a friend, but there's a difference between being in love and loving someone.
ReplyDeleteI love this! Today marks two and a half years for me and my boyfriend and I was actually thinking earlier today about everything you just blogged. I'v been noticing people throwing "I love you" around as well. It got me thinking about when my boyfriend and I were finally ready to say it to one another. It wasn't until I felt comfortable to wear no make up around him and know he'd still think I was beautiful or have tickle fights or being sick and him suprising me with chicken noodle soup to take care of me...everything you said pretty much. I mean I know everyone says those words at their own pace but I agree that situations like 2 days is a little fast..
ReplyDeleteI think the problem is the lack of words for 'love' in the English language. We use the same word to say 'I love my family', 'I love my skinny jeans' and 'I love my wife' when obviously there are three very different types of love going on there. I mean obviously you love your spouse as family but in a different way to how you love your grandma.
ReplyDeleteI think earlier on in relationships people want sethinf to express how close they feel, how happy they are together etc. So the L word gets thrown around sort of early. And to an extent these new couples probably do love eachother a little but it's very different from how they'll feel about eachother in six years time if they've stuck with eachother through fights and family drama, illness, accidents, interfering family members etc. I toldy now fiancé I love about five months into us dating. It's easy to say now that I knew he was the one ( well he is!) but also at that time we were far apart as he was working in Japan for a year and I wanted him to know how much I cared about him. So we started saying it then and it was love of course, just not the same as it is now.
Totally agree. I think it is definitely over-used for some people, but not used enough by others. I agree with what Camelia said^^ that being "in love" and "loving" someone are a liitle different. Loved the post.
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Totally agree. I think it is definitely over-used for some people, but not used enough by others. I agree with what Camelia said^^ that being "in love" and "loving" someone are a liitle different. Loved the post.
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love, loved this post. and I completely agree with every word you said. and so many people need to re-evaluate the "i love you"'s before they commit or throw the words around...
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There's a big difference between love and lust, and I totally agree with what Kate said about there not being enough words in the english language to transition from 'like' to 'love'.
ReplyDeleteInitially, the heady combination of like and lust can seriously make you feel like you do love...but its after the honeymoon period is over that I think you can say it and mean it.
When you know the persons flaws, when you can honestly say yes and mean it to the question, 'if they were to have an accident and need me to wipe their bum for the rest of my life, could I?'...I think if you can still feel that pull in your chest after and/or during the rough times, then that's love.
Love is indescribable. And I also think time is meaningless when you're in love. You could fall in love with someone in just 3 days, sometimes it takes years. It's not the same for everyone, but what I do know is that love makes us all a lil crazy. Words aren't needed, if you are in love, it'll show. In your eyes, in your smile, in your actions. :)
ReplyDeleteThere's no perfect time when to say I love you, when you feel love, you just do. :)
I think love is whenever you feel like you can bear your soul to someone without the fear of being judged or looked down on. To tell them you're wildest dreams and they think you can really do them. To have someone who is not only your best friend, but your biggest supporter and fan. When you want to go to their sports events that are an hour and half away because you want to see them enjoying themselves. Love is irrational. Its tickle fights, crying, long talks about the world, and just enjoying the time you have together whether its sitting on the couch doing nothing or going to Fort Wayne for a date night. Love is different for everyone.
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